Perception Filter
by TheLadyWhovian
Summary: Vastra decides to give Jenny a little surprise, but Jenny is less than enthused.


"Milady, please come down! Your breakfast is starting to make quite a stink!" I yell over my shoulder, stoking the fire as I wait for my mistress to descend the stairs and join me for breakfast and tea. The kettle whistles, steam pouring from the spout. I tend to it, not paying attention as I listen for the sounds of my lady's footsteps.

As I pour the boiling water into the two ceramic cups, I consider going up and getting her myself. She is taking an awful long time to get down here, even taking into consideration the fact she needs to get dressed in many layers of crinoline and often struggles with her corsets. She had said she was fine on her own to get ready, but I have my doubts about that.

My lady, although she doesn't seem like it, enjoys looking nice. She wears fine silks and cottons, intricately designed dresses and skirts. Adds hats and gloves, even jewelry on a few occasions. She hates to admit it, but she cares about her appearance, even if it's only us in the house. And she loves it even more when I compliment her, telling her she looks fetching in whatever extravagant dress she's confined herself to that day.

I, on the other hand, don't care for looking prissy. I find myself to be much more comfortable in a pair of trousers and tunic than layered in petticoats and velvet. My fondness for such clothes goes unnoticed by my mistress, for she spoils me with divine dresses made from foreign fabrics. The gowns lay untouched in my drawers. She fusses that I'll be mistaken for a boy, tells me I shan't be so stubborn about wearing a dress. I simply roll my eyes and get changed into the simplest dress I can find. Although she does allow me some freedom while it's just us, letting me wear breeches instead of skirts. That is, of course, if I'm not in my uniform like usual.

"Really, Miss? I'll throw it to the alley cats if you ain't down 'ere soon!" I holler, tea tray prepared and her breakfast smelling ranker with every second that passes. No sounds can be heard. Not a single footstep or the creaking of the stairs. A minute passes and still nothing.

Finally, after seven more minutes of unbearable silence, I hear soft footfalls in the hall. I turn to get her cutlery out, back to the door and hands sorting through to find the proper knife. I hear the chair scraping against the floor and smile to myself.

"Morning, Miss. Sorry for being so impatient." I glance over my shoulder, seeing she's dressed in a cloak and gloves already. "Going out so early? Your first appointment ain't till noon. I was 'oping we could spend some time together. You've been so busy lately and all."

"I cancelled all my appointments for today, I told you that last night. And the cloak isn't for hunting." My lady speaks softly and I find I'm a little shocked by how weak her voice sounds. I brush it off, thinking she's probably tired still. I did keep her up most of the night.

"'course, Ma'am. I shoulda remembered." I finally find the proper knife and hold it up. It's rather dull, which could cause a fuss from my lady. "If I may ask, what's the cloak for?"

"Wait and see, dear. It shan't take long for me to shed it." She gestures for me to sit with her and I happily oblige, sitting across from her and passing her the knife. She inspects it, before deeming it sharp enough to use.

"I s'pose I 'ave no choice but to wait then." I feel her stocking clad foot rubbing at my leg and I feel my cheeks going a roaring scarlet in colour. The tips of my ears burn like candles.

"Would you be a dear and get me a fork?" She taps her knife against her plate and I furrow my brow, but get up to fetch the utensil nonetheless. "Thank you, dear."

I hear the rustling of fabric and smile at the thought of getting to see her scaly face. I grab the first fork I can find and spin around, delighted with the notion of gazing upon the beauty that is my mistress. I'm met with something I would never have expected.

A beautiful woman, a human woman, stands before me. She has a head of dark hair that's pulled up with pins, but it looks messy and a few pieces fly astray around her pale neck and face. One particular piece of hair falls in her stoic cerulean eyes that capture and entrance me. She is as tall as my mistress and her features look similar, but she's obviously human.

I try to reach around for the first thing I can use as a weapon, finding a knife large enough to seem threatening. I brandish it at this woman and decide rather hurriedly I should call for my mistress. "Madame!"

"Jenny, stop that shouting." The woman murmurs, her voice that of my mistress. I hold my knife to her throat, enraged and confused.

"'ow the 'ell d'you know my name?" I growl, trying to sound threatening as opposed to how my uniform may suggest I'm meek and incapable of fending for myself.

"It's me, love." She cups my cheeks with her dainty, long fingered hands. My hand shakes as I hold the flat edge of the knife against her neck.

"Answer me." I whisper, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the way the hands feel on my cheeks. They're cold and smooth, causing the rush that accompanies my mistress's equally cold hands. I shake my head, trying not to dwell on the fact someone besides my mistress can make me feel this way.

"I did answer you. It's me. Vastra. That's how I know your name, my silly mammal." She pushes my hand away and takes the knife from me. She puts it on the table and rests her hand on my cheek once again.

"That's a bloody lie. You ain't my mistress any more than I'm the damned queen." I try to squirm away, but she holds me in place with those inviting hands. "My lady ain't a mammal and you sure as 'ell are."

"Do you not feel the coolness of my skin? The shocking rush that comes with my hands? Darling, it's me." She kisses my forehead and her lips send a familiar shock straight through me. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't know that."

I do as she says, looking into her stoic blue eyes and knowing without a single doubt it's true. My scaly, green mistress is somehow standing before me a pale, flesh covered human. I touch her face, seeing she smiles and nuzzles my hand. Her neck bends and twists the way my mistress's does, moving so her cheek is rubbing against my hand.

I look at her, surprised and unsure by this sudden change. She's my mistress, but not Silurian. She hasn't got scales or claws or spikes. She has hair and skin and a normal tongue. I know deep down this is my lady, but I don't want to believe it. Don't want to believe I can never see those pretty scales again, or that lovely tongue of hers.

"Miss?" I squeak, cupping the soft cheeks. "Why are you...'ow are you like this?"

"River left her perception filter here and I thought maybe you would like this." She kisses my lips and I blush furiously as the cool lips dance with mine. She pulls away enough to speak against my eager lips. "You do like it, don't you?"

"I need time to get used to it, I s'pose. I mean, you're beautiful no matter what." I tangle my fingers in her hair, not used to it and not sure if I like it. "But I love you 'ow you were."

"This is better though, is it not? I mean, this human me. You like it more, right?" She looks at me hopefully, her eyes dancing with a spark that reminds me of a cat dropping a rat in front of me and thinking it's a lovely gift.

"Well I'm not used to it yet, but I guess it's nice." I put my hands on her waist, still unsure of this. The hair is nice, but I love her spikes. Her skin is pretty and smooth now, but her scales were so beautiful and intricate. I want my regular lady back, but she's so proud of this that I don't want to make her feel bad or make it seem like I don't appreciate her efforts.

"Oh I'm so glad you like it! I knew you would!" She kisses me heatedly, yet I can't seem to work up any enthusiasm about it. I want to caress her scales, not expanses of skin where there should be intricate patterns of overlapping scales that feel more natural than anything underneath my warm hands. "You aren't enjoying the kiss, dear. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Ma'am. Shall I fetch you a strong cuppa? P-perhaps you want to l-lay by the fire or-" I'm unable to finish as a pale finger is pressed against my lips.

"I thought maybe you'd like to engage in something a bit more amorous. You probably miss the feel of a human body upon your own." She starts to untie my apron, tugging out the knot that holds it up. It falls to the ground and she moves to unbutton my dress.

"The only body I miss is yours." I whisper, but she doesn't seem to hear my comment. She pushes me back on the table, shimmying my gown off my figure and tossing it aside. Her hands are drawn back and she raises a perfectly plucked eye brow. It seems strange to think my lady has eyebrows at all.

"How interesting. Did you simply forget to put on your corset and bloomers, or were you anticipating such activities?" She runs her hands over my nude body. My cheeks turn scarlet and I turn my head away.

"Would it be too bold to say I was 'oping you would allow me to engage in such a way with you?" I mutter, watching as she starts to unrig as well. Her dress is tossed aside and as she strips, more of her newly pale and smooth skin is revealed. I find it hard to become aroused by the blank slates of skin. I'm so used to her intricate patterns of scales that the look of the skin ignites almost nothing within me. That isn't to say that when she lays herself on top of me I feel none of the rush.

"It is never too bold to assume we're going to mate, darling." She straddles my waist, her odd looking body perched above mine.

In the years we had been together, I had grown so accustomed to her. To her scales and spikes, jade in colour and cool to the touch. Now, the feeling of a human touching me has become something so foreign I almost forget that a hand shouldn't be cold and covered in scales. It has been seven years since I had engaged in intercourse with another human. I didn't know whether it would be the same as I very vaguely remember, or if it would be like being with my mistress, except without the tongue and scales. Will the same touches still thrill her? Will my hot breath on her neck still excite her?

She slithers down my body, being rather rough. No scales catch against my sensitive skin, but at the same time no scales slide smoothly over it in that divine way I had grown to love. I feel her lips placing tender kisses down my body, leaving a trail of saliva on my chest and stomach. She stops when she nears my pelvic area. She rests her head right on my thigh, looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes.

I run my fingers through her hair, yet find it unpleasant. It tangles beneath my fingers, and I cringe when I tug too hard. Her face scrunches up, but she doesn't stop me from continuing my uncertain stroking and brushing of the dark locks. I pull out the pins and let it fall over her shoulders. It tickles my thighs and I shudder.

She moves her head so it's between my thighs and her mouth quickly attaches my cunt, yet she pulls back. "You're not slick and wet like usual. Is something wrong?" She touches my womanhood and I gasp. "Well that's a little better. But you're usually soaked right down your thighs."

"I'm just 'aving a bit of trouble getting worked up." I see she looks hurt. She curls up on the table beside me and I feel like I'm with someone else. Like I'm cheating on my lady. "I can't."

"Can't what? Make love to me?" She kisses my shoulder and I shake my head. Her arms are soon around my waist, but I can't stand them. I want her scales and spikes and that glorious tongue of hers.

"Not when you're like this. I feel like I'm cheatin' on you. And I miss your scales." I squirm out of her arms, upset with myself for being so foolish. It's a nice gift and I should have just held my tongue.

"Do you not like this? I thought you would enjoy having intercourse with a human again." She looks at me, frowning slightly. She grabs my hands and I blush wildly.

"Ma'am, if I wanted a human, I wouldn't 'ave fallen for a Silurian. There are much easier situations I could be in romantically and sexually, but I chose you. Not a human, not a man, not just any old frump. I chose the most impossible person to be with, because I love you." I touch her smooth cheek, grimacing. "But I don't love this."

"Jenny, if I have in any way implied you have to stay with me, I apologize. If you would prefer to find someone else, you have my permission." She leans forward, pecking me on the cheek. "I am truly sorry for making it seem like you have no choice in our relationship."

"That's not what I meant, Miss. I was just saying that our relationship isn't always easy and even though there are factors that should keep us apart, I stay with you anyways." I cup her cheeks, seeing she looks terribly upset. "I love you and you're the only one I want. I just don't like this human you. I like the you with scales and no 'air."

"But you're a mammal. You should naturally crave other mammals." She grabs my hands and intertwines our fingers. "I would have offered you someone else to satisfy your cravings, but I am ever so possessive of you."

"I don't 'ave cravings for mammals, Miss." I shake my head, staring at her with nothing but pure adoration in my eyes. "I only crave you."

"I'm a big girl. You don't have to lie to me. I can handle it." She seems to reconsider her words. "Actually, no. I can't handle it. The mere thought of you wanting someone else makes me feel ill on the inside."

"I'm not lying! And I don't want anybody else! Get it through that thick skull of yours!"

In all the years I have known my lady, she's always been a bit thick. She never seems to be able to grasp that when I say something to her, I usually mean it. Perhaps she was often told lies as a child, or she is just naturally very distrusting of people. I rarely lie to her, yet she always seems to think my compliments or declarations of love are false. It's maddening at times.

"It's a scientific fact that you should crave another human. And if you're going to start wanting humans, I want that human to be me, even if that means putting myself in this awful disguise." She looks at her hand, frowning. "I feel so dirty."

"You're not dirty, Miss. But I know what you mean. You look like the species that you 'unt and eat. I'm sure it ain't easy for you." I lean in to kiss her, but feel strange doing so while she looks so human. "I don't crave humans because I 'ave you, my silly lady."

"But-" She begins, probably trying to come up with more reasons to prove her logic. I cut her off with a finger against her pale lips.

"I love you, I want no one but you. Not a human. You, my pretty Silurian mistress." I fiddle with the black cuff that I know is River's perception filter. It makes her look human, but if I take it off, she might go back to looking like herself again.

"So, you don't like this?" Vastra intertwines our fingers, frowning at me. I shake my head, hanging it in shame and avoiding making eye contact.

"No, Ma'am." I whisper, feeling her hand on top of mine and pulling it off the cuff. I frown, watching as she plays with the black metal.

"But you like how I am normally?" She watches my face for any signs of falsity. "You like me when I'm green and covered in scales?"

"'course I do, Ma'am. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't find you attractive." I watch as she pulls the black cuff off, her appearance faltering, before flickering back to her regular, Silurian form. "Much better."

"


End file.
